Which square kilometre of Brisbane has the most wankers?


typical-yuppieYour definition of what makes a wanker may be different to everyone else – but you know one when you see one.

Certain areas of Brisbane are absolutely chockers with wankers… the population needs to be warned.

Let’s settle this once and for all – name and shame the square kilometre of Brisbane which features the highest concentration of wankers, and give your evidence why.


  1. Friend, I aint liking the use of this word, but since y’all asked: Y’all can go to them bars in the city and the James Street and such and see folks content to spend their whole working lives near a muddy river in the humidity and a city that is – let’s face it – Bogan Ground Zero, the Townsville of Australia. Y’all will find mighty big ass uppity folks all around Brisbane Town and it makes me sad friend. God bless the fine folks of Brisbane Town and God bless Billy J. Jack.

  2. gee there’s some airing of personal greivances here. We all know it’s the city, the valley, west end …etc

  3. People are just naming expensive places to drink in Brisbane. Having money to spend doesn’t make you a wanker… Although, ice bar and a lot of places in paddington are generally full of wankers. Renting in paddington doesn’t make you instantly better than everyone else people. Come back to earth…

  4. The Normanby on a Sunday! !!! Full of blokes that think their gods gift to women and tons of trolley dollies with blonde
    Hair. The ice bar at paddo is just as bad, anywhere that charges 20 bucks for a jug of xxxx gold it bound
    To attract ego maniacs

  5. Boundary st in west end, my friends and I couldn’t walk down the street without male egos dropping in appropriet comments, they were scum bags

  6. There’s a guy in Toowong at th moment who is wrongly labelled a wanker. Unfortunatley he is in love with a sex worker who more than likely has his child. Poor guy.

  7. You took the words right out of my mouth Cat…..and the thing that makes the Cru Bar the real epicenter of wankerism (in its sickest form) is fact that so many pommies congregate there – all trying to reinvent themselves from the twisted lives they had back in the UK (or NZ)…..yeap – Cru Bar in the Valley wins every time.

  8. Definitely the Cru Bar in te valley….full of socipathic men hiding the truth about who they really are and what they have previously done to he women in their lives…..hiding behind the facade of decency but not realizing the complete wankers that they are……

  9. Be grateful. im brisbane born and raised and i am currently on holiday in maloolaba. this place has by far the highest population of wankers. it makes me miss home

  10. The Normanby Pub on Sundays. Lots of drunken deadshits trying to start fights- too packed for it’s own good, chicks that go their on Sundays are typically slags too. Steer clear.

  11. I agree with all of the above. I think some of the wanky menus at some of the cafe’s are worth a mention. *Think “slow cooked field mushrooms drizzled in a cappo marmalade”…you get the idea. *and what about the clowns that work in them?

  12. It has to be the Albert St end of the Queen Street Mall – just opposite Hungry Jacks, down to Borders. Not only do all the emos hang out up at the HJ end, but down by borders you get cultists, religious zealots and cranky Big Issue sellers harassing you. Not to mention all the people sitting inside and outside of Starbucks Coffee, trying to perfect a look of understated awesome. Sometimes I just want to walk down there with some kind of wanker bat and bludgeon them all. :\

  13. Oops! Forgot another two parts of town worth mentioning: Park Road (any cafe along there except Mary Ryan’s) and Caxton St/Petrie Tce areas. Especially after games at Suncorp Stadium. Rife with wankers.

  14. The Normanby Hotel on Friday and Saturday nights: almost run over some yuppie wanker running drunkenly across the fiveways every week. Also worth noting: James St in Fortitude Valley and any Irish bar in the CBD. Actually, come to think of it, there are far too many wankers in Brisbane to narrow it down to one square kilometre.

  15. Just from a personal point of view 3 years ago whilst been drafted to various job agencies I could not help hurl at the rife wankerdom present in the upper CBD. Grand Pianos in reception areas to 19 year old corporate? airheads with no real life experience judging and sentencing my caracter.YES! It’s the CBD!


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